Change.

Change... It's weird to actually think about it and actually slow down and realize what it means.

This seems to be a word that is said all too often... and too quickly without us really thinking about it.

The definition is to, "make or become different." But does change mean that it is always good? Can't change be bad? An illusion that we have the strength to do it on our own and "fix things"... When the woman was caught adultery, what did Jesus say? Did He yell at her and tell to change?...

There are a couple of passages in Matthew that have always stuck out to me and it is where Jesus quotes Hosea 6:6 and says, "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."

I realized something the other day when I spoke to you... I no longer felt comfortable talking to you. You felt cold and distant...

That quote that Jesus made really stuck out to me when I thought about our conversation... "I desire mercy, not sacrifice."

The definition of mercy is, "compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm."

If you read it a few times, then it starts to settle in.

It's really easy to harm people and not show mercy because we don't feel like we need to.

I am going to ask you something very serious.

Do you know what it's like to show mercy? Not only to others, but to yourself?...

You wrote a blog awhile back that made me sick.

You tried to pin your problems on someone else.

Your father.

Honestly, I found the whole blog disturbing. I don't know if I have been more angry at you for saying such things about a man, whom you seem to have so much respect for and that I have only heard great things about. I know it's easier to point fingers to make the blame fall less on you, but I think you missed what your dad was showing you. He wasn't showing you that all men are that way. He was showing you the qualities to look for in a man who will really love you.

To be honest, I am sad that I never met your dad. I always really wanted to... Because I knew the day that I did I would be telling him how much I cared about you and why.

Maybe one day you will wake up... But I don't know if I will be there to see it.

Love exists on a much deeper level than I feel like you understand sometimes... It's what I feel for you, but I don't know if I am in love with a girl who can't even talk to me about what she feels in her heart anymore, let alone how her day was.

I heard something the other day that said, "they say you should see the red flags, but it's hard when you are wearing rose colored glasses and in love." The other character responded with, "well that's what happens when you don't really know me."

I thought I knew you, but I am not so sure anymore...